Book Review : Pearl by Siân Hughes

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“When someone takes their life, they don’t only steal the future out from under our feet, they also desecrate their past. It makes it hard to hold on to the good things about them. And no one deserves to be judged on the worst five minutes of their life, even if those five minutes turn out to be their last.”

When Marianne Brown was eight years old, her mother disappeared, leaving her and her brother, who was just a baby at the time, to be raised by their father Edward, a college professor. The search for her mother revealed one footprint on the banks of a river near their home and nothing else. Growing up. Her mother’s disappearance was not discussed much and eventually, the family moved from what was once their home to live closer to where her father worked. The loss of her mother at such a young age left an indelible imprint on Marianne’s life. We follow her through her childhood, troubled teenage years and her own journey as a mother. As she grows older, Marianne struggles to hold onto her mother through a kaleidoscope of fragmented memories, often confused and overwhelmed by conflicting versions of events she can recall. Her memories of the time they spent together, her stories, the books they read, including the medieval poem “Pearl” (from which the title of this novel is inspired, though the details of the poem are not shared in the narrative) she found in one her mother’s books have a profound impact on her life and her worldview.

“Forgetting is not the worst thing. Remembering is not the worst thing either. The worst thing is when you have forgotten, and then you remember. It catches you out. You forgot for a moment, a day, a week, a month, but the effect is the same each time you remember. You feel it rushing back around your lymphatic system, and you remember the hurt. And there is a part of you that thinks, perhaps the pain is optional now? What might it be like to live without it? This is treachery. You hate yourself for it.”

Pearl by debut author Siân Hughes is a short but intense read – an exploration of grief and loss and how it evolves over the course of one’s life. The story did take a while to reel me in, but as the narrative progressed, I found myself deeply invested in Marianne’s journey. Revolving around themes of loss, grief, motherhood and self-discovery, the story is presented in the first-person narrative format from Marianne’s perspective. Marianne’s journey is a difficult one, and we bear witness to how, as she evolves as a person, her grief manifests into a quest to understand her mother and the events that led to her disappearance. She might not find all the answers, but in the course of her quest, she embarks on a cathartic journey of hope and personal healing. The author incorporates local ‘lore and customs into the narrative and each chapter begins with lines from poems /rhymes inspired by folklore. With its lyrical prose and vivid imagery, this is a beautifully written and profoundly moving story that will strike a chord in your heart.