Book Review: The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer

My Rating : 3.5⭐

“But the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life. Putting your heart out there. Letting it get broken. Taking chances. Making mistakes.”

Thirty-six-year-old Clover Brooks works as a Death Doula in New York City, guiding her clients through the last days of their lives – keeping them company while also taking note of their last wishes and much more to make the transition easier for them. Witnessing the death of her kindergarten teacher as a child fueled her interest in the subject of death and her academic pursuit in thanatology. When she was twenty-three, her grandfather, who had raised her passed away while she was traveling, and this further motivated her to her engage in this line of work. Though she is a consummate professional and takes pains to not get emotionally attached to her clients, she does record her experiences in three notebooks documenting what her clients share with her through their interactions in the form of -“Regrets”, “Advice” and “Confessions”. Her social life is practically non-existent and her closest friend is Leo, her elderly neighbor and a friend of her late grandfather. When she isn’t working, she spends her time watching movies, attending death cafes and watching her neighbors through their open windows. When Clover meets Claudia, a terminally ill but spirited ninety-one-year-old former photojournalist and grandmother of Sebastian, whom she met in a death café, Claudia’s stories and her regrets, encourage Clover to take stock of her life and her own regrets. Uncharacteristically for her, she finds herself on a quest to help Claudia in a personal matter – a regret that Claudia has harbored over a lifetime – and doing so just might enable Clover to look at her own life and regrets from a fresh perspective.

“The truth is, grief never really goes away. Someone told me once that it’s like a bag that you always carry— it starts out as a large suitcase, and as the years go by, it might reduce to the size of a purse, but you carry it forever.”

One might expect a story that revolves around a death doula to be morbid and/or depressing. But Mikki Brammer’s debut novel The Collected Regrets of Clover is far from that. A celebration of life that urges you to enjoy every moment, take advantage of the opportunities life throws your way and live life with as few regrets as possible, this story conveys a beautiful message. The flashbacks to Clover’s childhood and her memories of her grandfather are so beautifully written and I just loved Claudia. Sylvie was an interesting character, to say the least.

However, there are a few aspects of this story that prevent me from giving it a higher rating. Clover’s characterization felt both inconsistent and unconvincing. On one hand, she is portrayed as someone well-traveled (researching her area of study in her twenties) and displays much maturity in her professional life but much of what we see of her in her personal life reads as a tad immature for a thirty-six-year-old. I also understand loneliness and the importance of human connection but Clover’s attempts at alleviating her feelings of loneliness by peeping into the lives of others (literally, with a pair of binoculars) was a tad off-putting, though I did feel sad for Clover. On this note, while I can see a character who has led such an otherwise solitary life harboring a great deal of grief and closed off from friendship or romantic relationships take gradual steps in emerging from her self-constructed shell, the romance track (which I felt was unnecessary) and the changes in Clover’s worldview in this story felt a tad rushed.

Overall, this is a lovely story with a beautiful message that will resonate with many. I truly appreciate the premise and found the subject matter relevant and thought-provoking. There is a lot to like about this story and I appreciate the author’s effort to shed light on sensitive topics such as aging, loneliness and the need for end-of-life respect and comfort.

Many thanks to author Mikki Brammer, St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the digital review copy of this novel. All opinions expressed in this review are my own. This book is due to be released on May 9, 2023.

“So maybe we just need to appreciate that many aspects of life— and the people we love— will always be a mystery. Because without mystery, there is no magic. And instead of constantly asking ourselves the question of why we’re here, maybe we should be savoring a simpler truth: We are here.”